Friday Features | say what

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Kate and I’ve watched so much Fresh Beat Band this week, I’m starting to talk like them.  Hip hop and pop, Kate!  Stop licking the dog bowl!

Whatever.  Filing that under Things I Don’t Care About.  Here are some links I do care about this week:

+Amy Estes debuted her new blog this week, and I love the look and feel.

+These tweets from Honest Toddler CRACK ME UP.

+I love Rachel’s handpainted ceramic tealight holders.  Girl is talented.

+Thanks a lot, Ashley!  Now I have to find some of those Revlon Balm Stains.

+I’m enjoying Andrea’s two blogs Four Flights of Fancy and For the Love Of.

+Here’s my Stratejoy post this week on self compassion and fierce love.

+My friend from college, Natasha, started a blog to chronicle her life as a foreign service wife.  She’s learning Spanish and getting ready to miss Costco.  I’ll be sure to stock up on 5 pound tubs of potato salad in her honor.

Okay, your turn, what inspiring/fun/interesting things did you read this week?

The power of the pause

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I’m a go-go girl.  The idea of doing anything slowly is against my nature.

Let’s go.  Move it.  Come on.

I must utter those words hundreds of times a day.

Hurry, hurry, hurry.

Going fast has its benefits.  But when it comes to my mental health, not so much.  When I speed my way through life or try to push through uncomfortable feelings, I find myself feeling stressed rather than accomplished.

I made radical acceptance my goal for my May Happiness Project, and I’ve been thinking about all the elements that go into radical acceptance.  One of those elements requires pausing.

I’m reading Tara Brach’s Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life with the Heart of Buddha as part of my Happiness Project this month, and, man, Tara is all about this pausing thing.

What do I mean about pausing?  I’ll give you an example:

Approximately 1,216 times a day, Kate throws an assortment of minor to major tantrums.  Oh, these tantrums frustrate me.  And by frustrate me I mean I often walk out onto my deck, close the sliding glass door behind me and do the “silent scream” while Kate and Belle cry/bark at me from inside the house.

All day with a toddler drives me completely crazy.

But toddlers do what toddlers do.  Fuss, laugh, tantrum, giggle.  Repeat.

I knew I can’t change the fact that Kate will totally freak out if I don’t refill her milk cup fast enough.  But I can change how I react.

When Kate tantrums, I start to burn up inside and my mind starts misfiring.  I want it to stop.  And my responses to such tantrums are less than tender and more like stop, please, I’m working on it, stop, please, please, STOP!

This does not work.  And then I feel terrible about myself.

As I was reading Tara’s book, she kept stressing this idea of the pause.  Tara suggests that when I am faced with a situation that’s upsetting me, instead of just reacting, to stop, breathe, and pause.  Feel whatevever it is I’m feeling (irritation, frustration, annoyance).  And sit with those feelings.  No rushing to fix anything.  No judging myself about feeling irritated.

I was skeptical about this approach.  How would pausing solve anything?

But that’s precisely the point.  There is nothing to solve.

It’s about accepting what is.  And my feelings about whatever it is.

Sometimes that speedy, quick to react part of me forgets to pause.  But I’ve been practicing for a couple weeks, and when I do remember to pause, stop, assess how I’m feeling, I’m surprised at how much calmer I feel.  Even though I can’t prevent tantrums or control other people’s attitudes and words, I can take charge of myself in those situations.

Initially, sitting with those emotions feels uncomfortable and scratchy.  But that feeling passes and it’s replaced with a sense of calm and understanding and sensitivity towards myself and others.

So I’m working to savor the pause.  Just stop.  Wait.  Hold on.  Hang in the moment until I can see with a clear mind.

Spring 2012 nail polish favorites

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If you, like me, grew up watching Nickelodeon, you will remember how that network just loved to slime people.  You know, dousing unsuspecting people with green guck from above?

That’s kind of what it’s like to spend the day with a kid.  But the icky green slime comes at you from all directions.

My everday look could best be described as ratty chic, minus the chic part.  Kate, like most toddlers, believes me not only to be her soother and diaper changer but also large napkin.  At any point throughout the day, she might find her nose a little snotty and in need of a good wiping.  What better way to wipe one’s nose than on one’s mama?  Oh, are your fingers dirty from repeatedly sticking your fingers in ketchup and then licking said ketchup off?  Have no fear, your mama’s shirt is near.  Just wipe that slime right on her.  She won’t even notice.

Anyway, it’s easy to find oneself feeling a whole lot unglamorous when serving as your child’s one-stop-shop for slime/bodily fluids depository.  So while cruising the ailes of CVS one day sans Kate (oh, the luxury), I happend upon some lovely spring time nail colors I just had to pick up.

I realized I hadn’t painted my nails in a while, and painted nails always make me feel just a touch more fancy.  I picked up five shades and in a moment of passion painted each nail a different color.  So Sarah circa 1997.

From left to right: Wet N Wild Wild Shine in Blazed; Confetti in Belle Of The Ball; Sally Hanson Xtreme Wear in Sun Kissed; Confetti in To Teal To Handle; Sally Hansen Xtreme Wear in Mellow Yellow.

I’m pretty crazy about all these colors.  I love the bright, matte neons for spring.  But I think my favorites are the teal, orange, and yellow.

Do you have any favorite spring shades to share?  Do tell.  Do you think my nails look like a teenager girl picked out these colors (like a certain husband suggested)?  Well, keep that to yourself.

How I learned to love exercise

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It’s no secret I love group fitness.  I make time to exercise every single morning.  It’s a non-negotiable.  I’ve been an early morning exerciser since college when I found myself strung out and in desperate need of stress relief.

But I haven’t always exercised purely for the relief it gives my spirit and mind.  When I was in elementary school, I played softball and soccer, and I loved sports for the commraderie and team work.  But in middle school and early high school, puberty hit me like a ton of bricks and suddenly just being active wasn’t enough.

Exercise became drudgery.  I started running and power walking and trying all sorts of restrictive diets.  While my discipline helped me loose those puberty pounds and keep me in shape, it pained my emotionally.  Restriction and exercising purely for weightloss played on my perfectionist nature and made me feel I’d never be fast enough, skinny enough, strong enough.

When I went away to college, I continued exercising, but something shifted.  I needed to survive on my own in a stressful, highly-competitive academic and social environment.  And I knew running myself into the ground and only eating apples and wheat toast would cause nothing but suffering.

So I started thinking about my daily exercise regimen as a lifestyle versus a to do.  I wanted to live healthfully, and daily exercise gave me both health benefits and stress relief.  Once I started seeing exercise as my outlet, my haven against anxiety, I developed a healthier view of exercising and staying fit.

True, I do exercise to keep in shape.  But, to me, that’s a side benefit.

I exercise for the way it makes me feel.  I’m strong, chock full of endurance, capable.  I choose to exercise because it clears my mind of all the junk and tension and anxiety.

People ask me all the time – how can I learn to love exercising?

Simple: change how you think about exercise.

See your workout as a mind, body, and spirit exercise, not just a way to loose weight.  Being healthy and fit starts with your mind, not with how many miles you can log or how many squats you can do in one minute.  Use exercise to find peace in your day.  Maybe stop trying to endlessly compare your stats from day to day and just enjoy moving, pushing yourself when you feel good and pulling back when you need to.

When exercise is a lifestyle choice, you are no longer counting and comparing.  You’re living.

Project Life 2012 | Week 19

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Baron, my parent’s lovingly enthusiastic Golden Retriever, joined us this week while my parents enjoyed a much deserved vaction out West to the Grand Canyon.  (And by much deserved I really mean: why didn’t you take me with you?!  WAH!)

I think Baron found his accomodations at Casa Bagley up to his standards.  Kate even provided him with a complimentary hair brushing.  With my paddle brush.

Oh well, file that under: Things I Don’t Care About.

Besides hanging out with Baron and preventing him from eating Kate’s plastic play food (Remember, he is the $6,000 dog), Kate and I enjoyed the nice weather with a trip to Meadowlark Botanical Gardens.

Yep, we go there a lot.

What of it?

We’re season pass holders.

This time we found ourselves some baby ducks and baby geese.  The mama ducks and mama geese were upfront about not wanting us too close to their babies.  I reminded Kate several times we don’t hug the geese.

We also saw turtles and these awesome fish (I had no idea what kind of fish those were, so I told Kate they were Orange Fish until I overheard some lady tell some other lady they were Koi.  So, there you go.)

Okay, who wants to come with us to Meadowlark?  We’ve got guest passes!  Kate promises to show you a good time.