I am super tired of passwords.
It seems like I am required to change my password for my e-mail, the budgeting software, the time entering system, etc?every other week. And I am forever scrambling to come up with a new password. I try to trick the system and use some variant of my previous password, but these systems keep telling me my passwords are unacceptable.
So, a couple of months ago, my office had to fill out this questionnaire with some 30+ security questions. In the event we are locked out of the systems, we call the IT help desk, and they run through some battery of these security questions. The trick is you have to remember how you answered the questions. And there in lies my problem.
I was doing a bit too much multitasking and typed in my password incorrectly three times and promptly locked myself out of the budget software. So I dialed up the help desk to receive…help. As in unlock me so I can get in and do my job.
Help Desk: This is the help desk, how can I help you?
Me: I am locked out.
Help Desk: Locked out of what?
Me: I do not know what it is called ? whatever it is that I use to do budget stuff!
Help Desk: CICS?
Help Desk: Okay, computing ID?
Help Desk: Okay, Sarah, I need you to answer some security questions for me.
Me: … (inside I am saying, ‘oh no’)
Help Desk: What is the name of the first street you lived on?
Me: What?? You have to be kidding me. Where did you get this question? Did you just make that up to be mean?
Help Desk: No. From you, Sarah. You were the one who filled out the questionnaire. You wrote these answers.
Help Desk: Okay, let’s try this. What was your favorite subject in elementary school?
Help Desk: Sarah?
Me: I?m thinking! What possessed me to use these questions? Why did I think I would know the answers? I can barely remember my own address. Sometime I use my wrong last name! Can’t you throw me a softball, like, what is my birth date?
Help Desk: No. Now let’s try another. What car do you drive?
Me: Yes! I know this one – Ford! Ford!! Now, am I unlocked???
Help Desk: No, I have to ask you another question.
Help Desk: What was your first car?
Me: Hurray! That is the same as my other answer – still the Ford!!! Ding, ding, ding! Now am I unlocked?
Help Desk: Yes. Here is your temporary password. I suggest you redo these security questions.