My New Career – Tree Trimmer II

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I work for county government, and we have lots and lots of job titles. Maintenance Worker II. Garage Worker I. Management Analyst IV. Welder III.

I work in the numbers department as one of those Analysts, but I spend much time working with my agencies on their position counts, moving positions around, reclassifying positions, and the like. So, the other day I came across my dream job.

Tree Trimmer II.

I am not clear about what a Tree Trimmer II does, but I think it sounds good. I am okay with power tools (although I am pretty afraid of the weed whacker). Sometimes when I sit for hours in my cube, tapping away in Excel with one hand and discussing the my agencies on the phone with my other hand, I think it would be nice to be a Tree Trimmer.

My Grandma works at L.L. Bean, so she could fashion me up in clothes suitable for being out in nature trimming trees. You know, some sort of cargo pants for the spring and summer and those flannel-lined jeans for winter. And I bet I get my own set of tree trimming tools.

So, I could spend my day wearing those big headphones that would protect my ears and also prevent me from having to listen to other people. I would probably listen to my iPod. And I would spend all day by myself in the county’s lovely parks deciding how to trim trees. No spreadsheets, calculators, phone calls, e-mails, or use of that Masters degree.

Nope, just me, my trimmer, some trees, and nature.

I am sure it is okay that I have never actually trimmed any trees. I think I can get the hang of it. Fortunately Dan is on board with this idea. Perhaps I can take a whack at the trees in our yard for practice ;-)

Food Affairs

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I am one of those people who can eat the same thing day in and day out for months on end until I become so sick of it that the very thought of the food turns my stomach.

But man, those several month love affairs with my food of the moment are really enjoyable.

When I was a little girl, I loved hot dogs. Yes, hot dogs. I could never get enough hot dogs. My parents said it was my favorite meal, and I wanted to eat hot dogs for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. This must have been a very, very long time ago because I am now 25, and I cannot remember the last time I ate a hot dog. And, to be honest, I am not really that into hot dogs. I must have enjoyed them too much when I was a child that I ate my fill for a lifetime.

And then there was the cereal phase that lasted a good portion of high school and college. My favorite thing to do was mix a variety of cereals into one mega monster cereal meal. Quaker Oatmeal Squares, Granola, Wheat Chex, All Bran, and a sprinkling of Cheerios for good measure. This would be a delicious meal, maybe toss in some banana, too, or walnuts, and presto, a delicious feast to eat out of a bowl, making it also portable.

In college I would make these cereal concoctions in a Styrofoam cup meant for drinks, so I could take my Mega Cereal Creations with me to the library. And I ate these cereal blends semester after semester. You can ask my roommates. I am pretty sure they thought one of these days I was going to turn into Shredded Wheat.

Then I left college and probably because my body ached for something that was, I do not know, maybe from the produce aisle, I launched into salads. Not just any salad. No, no. This was of course of my own creation, and I ate it everyday for lunch for well over a year. It consisted of baby greens, walnuts, raisins, feta cheese, and a blend of balsamic and olive oil. And it was delicious, so delicious. Then, of course, one random day after eating this salad for well over a year, I could not look it in the face again without inducing my gag reflex.

So then I moved on to chickpeas. Yes, chickpeas. I loved them so much, Dan used to buy the 10 pound can of them from Costco. This was bar far my cheapest food obsession as a 10 pound can only costs about $2.00. And what did I do with the chickpeas, you ask? Well, I made another salad ? this time chickpeas, tomatoes, ham, pine nuts, and feta. And of course I proceeded to eat that for well over a year for lunch every single day. It was so scrumptiously filling and so easy to make. (I think part of my food obsessions come to be because I am lazy and not so good in the kitchen, so it has to be only what I can ?assemble.?) In true form I feasted on my chickpea salad until one day at lunch I took one look at it and then decided I could not eat one more chickpea salad if my life depended on it.

I should probably learn by now to diversify my food before I get into another one of my year long+ food obsessions. Does anyone else do this? Do you get sick of something just after a few rounds with it or could you eat it for the foreseeable future? Does anyone else get stuck in these food ruts?

I am getting concerned because I recently discovered Quaker Oat Quakes Rice Cake snacks. They are little rice cakes in just about any flavor you can think of ? apple cinnamon, kettle corn, cheddar cheese, ranch. And they are so, so good. So good I have taken to eat the bag as a lunch. For the past several days. This is how it starts. Before I know it, I will be running to Safeway to load up on these rice cakes to get my fix. No substitutions will do. For now, it is rice cakes or bust. You know, until I eat just one too many, and I never want to see that Quaker Oat symbol ever again.

The $6,000 Dog

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I am pretty sure my family members are single-handedly keeping our local animal hospital in business.

This past weekend featured yet another dog emergency, only this time for my parent?s Golden Retriever, Baron.

Baron, at only about a year and a half old, is one of the craziest dogs I have ever met. Absolutely crazy. It is as if his poor little pea-sized brain is humming overtime with distracting thoughts that keep him buzzed all day long. And he loves people, just loves them. If you leave the room and come back five minutes later, he acts like he has not seen your lovely face in decades.

Another of his favorite pastimes is eating inanimate objects. Mulch, underwear, dirt, and, his favorite, socks. Oh how he loves a good pair of socks. Dirty, clean, women?s, men?s, he is non-discriminatory. He will eat any sock, any time. This does create problems, but usually such things pass on their own, in a manner of speaking.

So, when my Dad called me Saturday morning to tell me Baron vomited more than a college freshmen frat boy after a mixer, I knew he must have stolen something made of cotton-like material and ate it for good measure. But, the x-rays did not show anything abnormal. So they sent him home.

And when I saw him later that day, he was like a totally different animal. He did not even try to assault me when I opened the door to my parent?s house. Usually he is jumping on me and will barely allow entrance inside. But not that night. He just lay around looking pretty sad. We even had pizza lying out on the table, and he made no move to propel himself on the table to gorge on pizza, as is his usual protocol.

Given his uncharacteristic lack of enthusiasm for people and food, my parents took him to the emergency vet clinic Saturday night. Lo and behold, a second set of x-rays found not only a balled up sock in his gut but also a hair tie. This discovery prompted emergency, middle-of-the-night surgery to remove said sock and hair tie. Are you curious to know just how much middle-of-the-night emergency sock and hair tie removal costs? Something to the tune of $6,000.

I am happy to report that the $6,000 dog is recovering and doing well. He went home last night, and he is currently enjoying a bland diet of chicken and rice. I am predicting my parents will institute a ?no socks? rule at their house from now on.

A Scrapbook With A Purpose

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With scrapbooking it seems that 99.9 percent of my failures come from not knowing where to start. I have a slew of pictures, more stamps that a craft aisle at Michaels, a drawer full of Martha Stewart pens and punches, yet I just cannot seem to get anything together.

So, when I read Ali Edward?s post about her <a href="http://aliedwards.typepad.com/a/december-daily-2009-.html”>Daily December scrapbook, I knew I found a perfect vehicle to launch me out of my creative rut and give me some purpose. Ali has been making these Daily December albums for several years, and she encourages scrapbookers to make the foundation pieces for their scrapbooks now. Yes, now. Even before Thanksgiving and Christmas decorations hit the shelves, now. Why now? Because we get too busy later in November and definitely in December to even think about putting together a scrapbook on the go to document the holiday season. So now, before all the holiday shopping and parties and business is definitely a good time.

While I confessed that I am not usually too much into holiday d�cor or stuff, this seemed like the perfect project to jump back in the creative saddle. Something with definite direction. You know, like when you the teacher gave you your essay topic and a small part of you was pleased because that was one less thing for you to think about.

So this past weekend I headed over to Michaels to pick up holiday paper to make my mini holiday book. While I think Ali?s is more fun, I am just glad I got something put together. Ali chooses to chronicle December 1 through December 25, but I think my album will be more of a ?holiday season? sort of thing, featuring pages between middle of November and New Year?s.

When my family or Dan and I do something celebrating the seasons, I can document with pictures, write up a little something, maybe add an embellishment or two, and ? ta da ? a finished page.

Now I cannot wait for some holiday stuff to happen ? I even consented to a Christmas tree. In my house. This is going to be a holiday to remember, for sure.