It’s List Week here on Sarah with an h. I love lists and lists for lists, etc… So, this week I will have a list a day on various themes. Please feel free to add along!

Next to puberty, becoming a personal incubator is probably one of the most transforming body experiences for women. And, sadly, going through pregnancy can be just as frustrating, awkward, and unsightly as puberty. However, at least companies make special products for pregnant ladies, so that takes the edge off.

(Please note: There are a lot of opinions out there about maternity this and that. Probably even more opinions about what pregnant women should do/not do or think/not think than there are opinions about how to go about Middle East Peace talks. So, these are simply things I think and what worked for me. Not instructions. I found other pregnant women’s list useful, so I thought I would share mine. But, if you hate my suggestions, that is cool, too. Rock on, pregnant friends.)

1. Bellybands: There are a couple of types out there, but I have the cheap one from Target. Basically, these bands are like a tight tube top one wears around one’s middle when one can no longer button and/or zip one’s pants. Please note, these do not seem to work for all women, so perhaps do like me and buy the cheap one from Target first to see if it works for you before upgrading. I think some women have trouble with it riding up or cutting off circulation to their body or pressing like a vice grip on their bladder. I did not have any of these issues, which is a nice reprieve. I used the bellyband in the beginning of my pregnancy when my regular clothes were a bit too snug and maternity was way too big – a frustrating time for most pregnant women. The band help extend my wardrobe until I could fit into regular maternity pants. However, I grew tired of my maternity pants and did not want to spend more on additional pants, so I still use the belly band to hold up my regular pants. Maternity shirts are super long, so they cover the band. I find it more comfortable, and I like how I can extend my wardrobe using my old stuff.

2. Old Navy Maternity line: Is Old Navy the best quality? No. Can you get a bunch of shirts for $10 each. Yes. Is that good enough for five-ish months you will wear them. In my opinion, yes. I could still fit in to some regular shirts, but I was worried about stretching them out with my growing belly. So, I bought myself some maternity shirts from Old Navy because they always seem to have lots of deals. Now, they are not as high quality as say something from A Pea in the Pod (I know this because my mom bought me some stuff from there, but I found it a little too expensive), but they can get you through. And I tried to “style” them with belts and fabric flower pins and my regular cardigans/blazers. They work just fine. I liked the styles that were more form fitting because I found they made me look less like a tent.

3. Kashi Seven Whole Grain Crackers: This stuff was like crack to me during the 14 weeks I spent with my good friend Nausea. I pretty much could not stand the thought of food, but going around on an empty stomach proved to be a dangerous recipe for extreme sick to my stomach-ness. So, I needed to keep my stomach stoked with something at all times. And these Kashi crackers were a saving grace. They have just enough salt, a nutty flavor, and the right amount of whole-grainy goodness to keep myself afloat during the day. Other brands will probably work, too, but since I had a good thing going, I dared not change my eating formula at that point in my life. So to all you nauseated friends out there, force feed yourself some of these crackers and see if that helps get your through the first trimester.

4. What To Expect When You’re Expecting: When I found out I was pregnant, I bought this book, as I am sure a million other pregnant ladies did, too. I wanted to peruse through some other books in the baby section, but Dan was with me and too embarrassed and concerned someone might see us (like we were performing illicit activities in Barnes and Noble), so I had to make a quick decision and picked this book. I found it an easy read, simple to understand, and a good way to get a feel for what the heck is going on in there. The companion Web site also offers good tools. The book and Web site have useful Q & As and provide insight without getting too scary (in my opinion). I tried to stay away from other sites because some tend to be a bit too alarmist or freak me out. And, some are not written by anyone with actual medical knowledge, which should also be avoided. The only other Web site I found authoritative and useful was www.babycenter.com. And, some people swear by the Girlfriend’s Guide to Pregnancy, and I skimmed through a copy I borrowed from a friend, but I did not find it particularly helpful. I especially did not like her tone and her belief that pregnant women should not exercise because they are going to get fat anyway. My OB is all about the exercise, as am I, so I found that to be misleading (of course, everyone should check out with their doctor to make sure they can engage in activities).

5. A good sense of humor: In the end, products can help make this awkward time a little easier, but I found the best resource of all was my own sense of humor. Fretting and worrying and second-guessing only led to misery. Use your ample meetings with your OB to clear up any issues, and then just go forth, with your baby in tow. My OB’s philosophy is “live your life because pregnancy is not an illness,” and that is how I choose to look at the situation. Fortunately, I do not have any complications that would require me to act otherwise, so I choose to go about my day, starting with my Body Step class, and not get caught up in anxiety or buying massive quantities of baby items. And this relaxed route is so much easier than the high anxiety route. I am not going to sweat it if her nursery is not perfect before she comes home because, lucky for us, she will have no idea. And there is nothing I can do to speed up the Easy Bake Uterus process, so no sense in whining away my time counting the minutes until she arrives. And, no, I do not have a birth plan. My only plan is to have the baby at some point after 38 weeks. Because if there is one thing I have learned, it is that I have just about zero control over the entire situation. So no sense in getting worked up.

Okay, all my must-haves as I see it here at 30 weeks pregnant. Any other ideas out there?

Registering for baby stuff is like learning to speak another language. When I first went about attempting to set up a registry, I had a mini meltdown. The Web sites try to be helpful by providing “registry tips” and “registry guidelines.” And some of the stuff on the registry checklist was so completely foreign to me that I needed to open all these separate browsers to research these so-called “must-have” items.

How can someone who does not participate in any activities, go to a place of employment, manage a household, or drive a car need so much stuff?

And some of this stuff is plain weird. Not only that, but I cannot figure out if she would like it or if it would traumatize her. I was looking at these “activity jungles” the other day, you know, those things the baby sits upright in while “playing” with all sorts of wild accoutrements hanging off the sides. One of them looked like it lit up, spun, and played music. It made my dizzy just looking at it. But, the baby in the picture looked so happy. Hmm…add to registry?

All these things are so high tech. This one baby swing featured a light show! A light show! And it moved all sorts of ways. The swing we had for my sister just went back and forth at the same speed, and if she wanted a light show, well, then we turned on the TV. I wonder what the babies are thinking when they sit in the high tech swing watching the light show. To be honest, I am kind of jealous. I would like my own swing featuring a comforting light show. Maybe also a cup holder to put my margarita.

So I said forget it to registry guidelines and just combed through pages of basic stuff. And I tried to be good at first and researched the best this and the best that. But, in the end, I gave up and pretty much just selected the items veteran parents ranked the highest. All 347 parental reviews gave this infant car seat the thumbs up? Well, then, so do I. If it seems the majority of reviewers insist the best baby swings move not only front to back but side to side, well, I agree. And if you all experienced parents tell me this set of bottles is good enough, I add them to my list.

When I was a bride handling my wedding registry, that was easy. I knew exactly what we needed because we pretty much had nothing. I think we used one pan to cook everything in. Well, then, clearly pans are something we needed, and I registered us for pans accordingly. We had exactly two towels, which presented obvious problems, so I also added towels to my registry. You name it – we did not have it. Real dinner plates, silverware that was not rusted, matching glasses, something other than bread knives to cut meat.

And our friends and family were more than generous with supplying us vital gifts that improved our quality of life ten-fold. If you want to come over and visit, I can offer you a real glass and you can eat off of a real plate. Oh, and we have hand towels in the bathroom.

But with this baby stuff, I just have no idea. So I beg and steal ideas from veteran moms who steer me towards useful items babies actually need instead of stuff the Baby Registry schemes you into thinking a baby needs. No way she needs an iPod. Mommy did not get an iPod until she was a college student. Besides, she will not have enough motor control to work the touch screen. And, besides all that, our neighbor is a drummer! He provides a lot of musical entertainment.

So, to those of you with baby experience, what items do I need on this registry? Besides a lobotomy for myself. It’s like the Wild Wild West out there in baby land, and I need all the back up I can get. Suggestions welcome!

The other day I was sitting at my computer all ready to print a document, when I realized I did not have any paper in my printer. I thought maybe I took it out when I was printing on photo paper, but I usually put the regular paper back. I checked around my desk without any luck, so I decided Dan must have taken my paper out to use for his own printer.

Well, this irked me because Dan keeps all our extra paper in the closet in his office, so why would he decide to steal my paper? Ugh, I was annoyed, so I banged my way downstairs to retrieve my paper when I saw a stack of the stuff sitting outside Dan’s office. As I got closer, I could see the stuff was paper…and it was a little…wet. When I picked up the stack, I made out canine teeth marks on the top half of the paper.

Oh that Belle.

Our dog loves paper products. Her dream come true would probably be the opportunity to roll around in a room full of nothing but tissues, paper towels, toilet paper, and reams of computer and loose leaf paper.

So the other morning as Dan was getting ready to leave for another work trip, I made my way downstairs to find pieces of shredded paper on the floor. And then Dan asked me if I picked up his boarding pass out of the printer. No, I told him, but I am pretty sure Miss Belle helped herself to this boarding pass. Maybe you can ask her.

And now last night Miss Belle decided to take it upon herself to eat some of Dan’s receipts he needed for travel expense reimbursement, nose her way through my trash for additional paper products, and tear apart the instructions for the crib assembly (good thing we already put that thing together).

So now we have to keep trashcans without lids up off the floor, and we cannot keep any paper in the printers. (Or I guess we could move our printers up off the floor, but, eh, I am not sure where else they could go). So for now we only put in as many sheets as we need to print and then remove the printed sheets. Otherwise, Miss Belle thinks this magical paper-producing contraption is her own personal paper eating trough.

Why does she do this? Attention? Need for fiber? For fun? Who knows. But I suppose the silver lining is we do not need to buy a paper shredder.

It seems each week I morph just slightly. My belly seems rounder or pointier or more like an egg but sometimes like a basketball. With two and a half more months to go, I wonder how much bigger I will get. Now seems like I am big enough.

This is especially frustrating because I love clothes. I could easily spend three times my paycheck on clothes. I love clothes so much I have my own room in the house dedicated to my clothes. No way I could share anything less than a walk-in closet with Dan. Oh, no. In my dressing room I use the entire closet plus a freestanding wardrobe.

This maternity thing really puts a damper on most fun clothes. I suppose maternity “fashion” (if you can call it that) has come a long way. Now it seems stores make an attempt to create clothing in line with regular clothing styles. But, when you are also trying to accommodate a growing bust and stomach line, many silhouettes just will not translate into maternity.

When I first walked into the maternity store and tried on a pair of maternity pants, I thought for sure not only were maternity styles somewhat ugly, but they were trying to kill me, too. The pants I tried on have that waist that pulls up over my belly. And that waist band thing is hot. I already feel like I have my own personal heating system, so now I am further insulated with this silly waistband.

So, I had to get a little creative. My pre-maternity pants fit up to the belly, so I bought a Bellyband to act as the new waistband. This works pretty well because maternity shirts are long so they cover the band.

And getting dressed has led to a few…wardrobe malfunctions. I can still fit in some pre-maternity shirts (unless it buttons up the front – forget about those unless you like to pick up popped buttons off the floor). So, a few weeks ago I decided I would wear a shirt that always felt a little big pre-maternity. On over my head it went, and as I was trying to pull it down over my chest, I realized I made a terrible mistake. That shirt was stuck.

So there I was, half-dressed with my arms stuck in the air and this shirt cutting off circulation around my chest. At first I panicked and tried to wiggle myself out, but they only seemed to make matters worse. I thought about cutting myself out, but that proved difficult since I could not bend my arms. I started to succumb to the fact that I was going to have to wake up my sleeping husband and ask him to extract me from my shirt. But I decided to try to give it one more try and with a couple wiggles I was able to break loose.

I have learned a valuable lesson here. My body is taking on new proportions and some of my old clothes cannot be trusted. And wearing a maternity shirt over my stretchy hot pants may not be the most glamorous, but at least I can get in and out of them without getting stuck.

It is so nice here, I walked Miss Belle in shorts and a t-shirt. I cannot believe that just a few weeks ago this park was completely engulfed under snow. Good bye, winter, hello spring.

As I have written before, I like to take walks around my office building at least once a day. After sitting in my rolly chair staring at Excel files and Word documents, I like to stretch my legs and bop around to some Tim McGraw or Black Eyed Peas on my iPod.

And on these walks, when I encountered other office people, I would smile at them. This always seemed to cause them surprise, and they would try to look away from me as fast as possible as not to make eye contact and be forced to smile back at me.

However, I have found that since my belly looks more pregnant and less like I ate an entire box of Swiss Rolls, now all of a sudden my fellow office people are all about smiling at me. When I pass by and give them a little smile, they get this endearing look on their face like, “oh, look, a pregnant lady, I will smile at her.”

So, it is okay to smile at me since I am clearly carrying around a baby in my oversized tummy but you avoid making eye contact when it was just me walking around solo?

But this seems to be the case with being pregnant. Now people think nothing of striking up conversations with me. At weddings. At the grocery. At the gas station. At the gym. They all give me those sappy smiles like I am one of the most interesting and valuable people in society as they gaze at my tummy and ask me when I am due, is it a boy or a girl, do I have any names picked out, etc, etc… They all want me to cut in line, take their seat, offer me extra pieces of dessert.

Wow, such treatment. So…weird.

Please note I am not complaining. I really appreciated the special treatment I received from two nice men I met at a wedding I recently attended who insisted I cut in line before them in the dessert line. And now when I walk around my office building, people give me a super wide birth as if they want to make sure I have all the room I want to walk around while they admire me from afar. I just have to admit how strange it feels to go from being a regular woman to a regular, pregnant, woman. Sometimes I forget I am pregnant and wonder why people are smiling at me (I often wonder if I have something on my face), and then I realize they are smiling about the promise of what my big tummy holds – a cute little baby.