I cannot believe Kate is two months old. I feel like I just brought her home from the hospital yesterday. Gratefully, much has changed since those first sleep-deprived and challenging first weeks. She is sleeping seven or eight hours a night, breastfeeding has gotten so easy I can feed any where at any time under any condition, and the smiles, oh the smiles. There is nothing better than those smiles. And she is definitely trying to laugh, and I cannot wait until I hear a big belly laugh. Oh, and her hands have finally made contact with her mouth, so she is busy sucking on her fists and entertaining herself with her hands. This is important because now she can soothe herself at least somewhat by examining her hands. Oh the things you get excited about as a mom…

I cannot believe it has been seven weeks. What’s more, I cannot believe how fast Kate changes – she finally hit 10 lb, sleeps for much longer stretches at naptime and during the night, and is smiling and trying to laugh.

As I think back over the past seven weeks, I am having trouble recalling exactly how hard it was at the beginning. I know it was difficult, and I am sure there were days when I did not think I could do one more thing. But the thing about being a mom, at least for me, is just when I thought I could not do one more thing, I found the strength to just do a little more. And that little more turned into more and before I knew it, this mom thing became second nature.

I cleaned out my cube at my office today and turned in my badge. Relief does not even begin to describe how I feel. Being a mom is my favorite job.

Big news. Kate slept seven hours overnight on Tuesday and eight hours Wednesday. This is a SUPER HUGE DEAL because previously my night looked something like this: put Kate down at 9:30 p.m., she wakes up to feed at 1:00 a.m., and then at 2:30 a.m., and then at 3:30 a.m., and then at 4:30 a.m., and then at 5:30 a.m., where in which I give up on sleeping and start my day.

So you can imagine my shock when I woke up at 1 a.m. and again and 3 a.m. to the sound of…nothing. I think I am just so used to being awoken, that I hardly got to take advantage of the additional sleep because I kept waking up, expecting Kate to be crying out for me. I kept creeping into her room to check on her, and she was just…sleeping.

She is also really happy in the morning, I suppose the result of a good night’s sleep.

I quit my job last week. Now I am officially a stay at home mom.

Dan and I came to this decision after considering day care options, part time work options, and various other schedules. All of those options seemed…much less than ideal. So, I asked Dan what his “perfect” scenario would look like, and I, too, offered up what I thought would be ideal for our family. Turns out, we both agreed that our perfect situation would be for me to stay home and make our family my job. And the fact of the matter was at the end of the day such a large portion of my salary would be directed at day care costs, so seeing those numbers on paper made the decision perfectly clear.

At the beginning of my pregnancy, we never thought I would be able to quit my job and stay home. Actually, the thought never crossed our minds. We always assumed that I would just take off the requisite 12 weeks and then begrudgingly return to work after dropping off my sweet baby at day care. As we got closer to my due date and the day care I hoped to get into could not accommodate any more babies, we started to consider other options. And the best option for us was to change our lifestyle, so I could stay home and care for our daughter.

Now, I went to day care, and Dan also went to day care, so we know that for some day care is a must and for whatever reasons, babies must go to day care. But for us, it simply was not the best option since we could make changes to our life to accommodate me as a stay at home mom. In my heart, I know no one could love my baby like I love her and no one can take better care of her than me.

Of course sacrifices are needed to make this new life style work, but the funny thing is, these changes do not feel like sacrifices at all. It is amazing to me how being a mom changes how I feel about what is essential to my life. If I need to give up getting my hair colored at a salon, buying clothes full price, and purchasing the newest hardback books, I can without thinking twice. So now I ask my mom to color my hair from a drugstore kit, go to the library, always buy on sale, and, in reality, do without or get creative.

After having Kate, I see my life as fuller than I have ever seen my life before. And caring for my family is the best job I have ever had. Yes, the hours are long, clean up can seem never ending, it can be isolating at times, and I would be lying if I said I never thought about how our life was easier when it was just Dan and me. But in the same vein, I feel happier than I have felt in a long time. Like I am finally doing what I am meant to be doing – being a mom and a wife and a daughter and a sister and a daughter-in-law, and a granddaughter. I am finding myself taking on roles within my family that mean so much more than 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. cubicle work. I feel surprised at how naturally being a mom has come to me over the past couple of weeks – and how much I have changed. Now I take the time to just be because, well, I can. No worries about work or deadlines. Just time for me to spend with the important people in my life.

It took me all day to catch this girl smiling. Now that she is six weeks old, she is more like a real baby, making faces and cooing and trying to communicate. She is 9 lb, 10 oz, and I am getting super strong carrying her around.

Kate is having a super crazy hair day. Girlfriend’s hair is sticking up like a mohawk. I tried to wet it down and comb it, but this made it worse.

Besides how super cute she is, the second biggest comment I get about Kate is her hair. Yes, she was born with all that hair. Every last strand. No, it is has not really fallen out. And, yes, I do think it will change color. I say this because her roots are taking on a golden tone, so I am thinking she might eventually be a blondie.

I looked just like Kate when I was born; I, too, had a full head of hair. I cannot wait for it to be longer because it is just begging for cute hair bows, no?

Kate likes to be held AT ALL TIMES. This is problematic because I need to use both of my hands from time to time.

Enter, Baby Bjorn. Without you I would not be able to unload the dishwasher, do the laundry, vacuum, eat, blog, scrapbook, or other life functions. Now I have gotten pretty good at doing things one handed, but some tasks simply require the use of both limbs. And now the Baby Bjorn is my best friend.

This was not always the case. When I first started putting Kate in the Bjorn, she ninja kicked me and screamed until I unhooked her and carried her in my arms for real, instead of fake holding her in the Bjorn. This kid can really tell the synthetic from the real (ask Kate if she likes pacifiers…oh no, she knows those are substitutes for what she really wants).

But one day I had no choice. Some tasks needed to be done, and they could not be done while holding a wiggling infant. So I stuck her in the Bjorn, she fought and struggled, I jiggled her around, and then…SHE FELL ASLEEP. I TOLD her she would like the Bjorn if she just gave it a try!

See, Mama’s always right.

I am dying for Dairy Queen’s Pecan Blizzard. I just want it. Why? Why not?

When I am breastfeeding Kate at night, as in in the middle of the night, I watch TV to pass the time. And of course I see commercials for TONS of stuff I find I totally need. I REALLY am convinced I need these items. Fortunatley, I have not acted upon any infomercials. However, I see the Dairy Queen’s Pecan Pie Blizzard commercial ALL THE TIME. And it makes me desperately want this blizzard. Because I love pecan pie? No, not really my number one pie. I think I just have been brain washed due to viewing an excessive amounts of Dairy Queen commercials.

As far as I see it, Dairy Queen for the Dairy Queen is in order.

This weekend my parent’s golden, Baron, came to stay with us. I tried hard all weekend to get a picture of Kate with Baron. Baron was very cooperative. Kate was not so much. While Kate was not interested in posing for pictures with Baron, she was interested in him in general. He was interested in licking her toes. And her head. So Miss Kate received a slobber bath, the first of many, to be sure.