So Scintilla is officially over.  But I’ve got one more prompt I want to answer.  You can read my previous Scintilla 13 posts here. Thanks for reading.

Prompt 12: What would it have been like if your life had turned out the way you wanted when you were a kid?

When I was a kid, I wanted to be Reba McEntire.

My mom took me to see Reba in concert – my first concert – when I was about eight-years-old.  I’d memorized all her songs, could reenact her music videos in elaborately staged numbers in my bedroom, singing into a hair brush microphone.

I thought it would be awesome to be Reba, but I figured that probably wasn’t a career option, or a life option.  But other than my fascination with Reba, I didn’t have a lot of ideas about how I wanted my life to turn out when I was a kid.  I didn’t think about what my life would look like exactly.  I never thought about my wedding day, never imagined a husband or children.

Not that I didn’t want those things, but I didn’t dream of those things, either.

So I have to wonder: how did I end up here?

I don’t know.  But I admire the kid I was who seemed to know everything would just turn out okay.  That she didn’t need a specific plan.

In some ways everything in my life has gone according to plan, at least the plan I instated back as a senior in high school.  I went to a good school, graduated, got an advanced degree.  Got married, bought a house, got a dog, had a baby, and now I’m expecting another.

That was pretty much in my plan.  But I didn’t plan on leaving my job.  And Dan and I didn’t plan for the kind of job he has now that has him working from home some weeks and flying all over God’s green Earth other weeks.

In this moment, I’m in the tentative planning stages for my next act, what will happen after this baby is born, what life will look like a year from now.  And I’m taking a page from kid Sarah who just knew everything would work out.  All I can do is make the best decision I can with the facts at hand, add a little faith and trust in the process, and stand back and watch it unfold.

And if it doesn’t work out, I’ll call up Reba McEntire and see what she’s up to.

Author

Sarah is a thiry-something wife to an engineer and mother of three. She loves teaching aerobic and cycling classes, learning to shoot with her DSLR in manual mode, and drinking coffee.