Last year, at this time, my pal Kelsey announced her Year of Kelsey. At the time I was still breastfeeding and Thomas wasn’t yet a year old and no one was sleeping. I knew our family was complete, and I was eager to get my body to myself (So long, breastfeeding! Good riddance to you!). And I really wanted everyone to sleep.
At the start of 2016 I knew it would be my last year having a baby and my last year using my body to sustain life. And that in 2017, I’d do my own year.
Now here, at the start of 2017, I’m done having babies and praise be I’m not nursing anyone. Dan told me the other day that I’ve been pregnant or breastfeeding since 2009.
Now, I’m aware of 1) how blessed I have to have three healthy children and 2) that many women have many more children and are thus pregnant/nursing for longer. But everyone’s hard is hard. And that was hard. And now it’s my time.
Time for The Yirah of Sarah.
(Yirah, what? Hang on. I’ll get it it.)
I find this both thrilling and terrifying. Which is why I picked YIRAH for my word for the year. I picked it after I read Tara Mohr’s book (highly recommend, by the way), Playing Big. In a post on her blog, she writes:
“There is a second Hebrew word for fear, yirah. Rabbi Lew describes yirah as “the fear that overcomes us when we suddenly find ourselves in possession of considerably more energy than we are used to, inhabiting a larger space than we are used to inhabiting. It is also the feeling we feel when we are on sacred ground.
If you’ve felt a calling in your heart, or uncovered an authentic dream for your life, or felt a mysterious sense of inner inspiration around a project or idea, you recognize this description.”
Yes. YIRAH. I’ve felt that so many times. And then I stepped away. Because I decided I wasn’t good enough, didn’t deserve it, yada yada yada.
But not this year.
This year is the Yirah of Sarah.
I’ve thought a lot about what I want to do for this year, and I’ve got a couple ideas, all centering around these concepts of connection, creativity, and community.
+Finish my book. I AM SO CLOSE.
+Define my style. I did a good job this year of donating/selling clothes on thredUP that don’t work for me, and I’ve also done a good job at finding the styles, brands, and colors that do work for me. Now I’m looking at what’s left, and how I can create a functional style that works for all the kinds of work I do.
+Deepen my creative community. I finally realized this year that I struggled with periods of sadness NOT because I don’t like what I do but because I don’t have a community. So I got to work on addressing that. I created a Facebook group where I hope podcast/blog listeners/readers can connect with me, each other, and my podcast’s guests. And I also created a local community of creative women, and so far we’ve been in person a few times, and I’m eager to see where else I can take that group.
+Dive deeper into my current fitness programs/try some new things. This March, I will have been teaching group fitness for five years. I don’t want to get stale as instructor, so I’m looking to take some trainings and also expand my fitness net. I’m already signed up to take an advanced instructor training for BodyPump in a few weeks, and I’ve been trying out a local yoga studio. I’m super interested in mind-body connection, especially since I realized that exercising is a form of spiritual practice for me, so I’m excited to dive deeper into the world of fitness and mind-body connection.
+Plunge into my creative ideas. I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS. And, like everyone else, not enough time. But, I know I can more than I think I can, especially if I don’t spend precious time pondering my ideas and if they’re good enough and just doing them. I plan to dive into those creative ideas by writing everyday, exploring photography and videography, and experimenting with other creative projects, like furniture painting.
I think that should keep my pretty busy. What do you want to do this year?