It took me a long time to get comfortable with the idea of having anyone help me with my kids, especially on a regular basis. This past October I hired a nanny for the first time. I was hesitant, nervous, and unsure about how it would work out. I wrote a post a while back on how I ended up with my nanny, and everyday I’m glad I took my time to find the right fit for our family. We still have our nanny, and we adore her.

It’s important to me to be a good “nanny mom.” I want our nanny to feel like a member of our family, and I play a big role in that. Here’s how I went about creating a special relationship with our nanny.

+I’m clear about what I need and want. I told her that I care about two things: I want my kids safe and happy. I told her our family safety rules (wearing bike helmets, no running down the stairs, wearing shoes outside, etc…). I showed her where all the toys are, told her what my kids liked to do, and I encouraged her to take the lead. My children are to treat her with respect, and I empowered her to require it from them. But, I really just want them all to have fun. I don’t care if dishes are left in the sink, toys left out, etc… I want everyone safe and happy!

+When I need extra help, I ask for it. I needed help with the kid’s laundry, so I asked her, if she had time, to put the clothes away for me. The other day I needed help picking up before the cleaning ladies came, so I asked.

+I care about her. I always ask her about her weekend, her boyfriend, her family. I want to know her! And I want her to know us. I share about our weekend, what I’m working on, etc… Our nanny is an opera singer and wanted to teacher her own voice and piano lessons. I encouraged her to put together a Facebook page with her services, I shared it far and wide, and now she’s built a successful side business.

+I make our home, her home. I encourage her to bring any food or drink and leave it at our house. I show her where to find our K Cups and tell her to have as many cups as she wants. I showed her all our snacks, teas, etc… It got cold one day, and I sent her a message and told her to take my jacket out of the closet and wear it when she took Michael outside.

+I’m a super good communicator. I tell her what’s going on, what I need to do that day, why one of the kids might be in a bad mood, etc… We have each other’s cell phone numbers, so if I think of something, I text her.

+I’m understanding. Sometimes she’s running late because of a traffic jam or she missed her alarm. I tell her NOT TO RUSH. We’ve all done it. On her second day, Thomas fell outside and slightly scraped his forehead. She told me right away, and she was so bent up about it, she teared up. I assured her this was not her fault. Thomas is a new walker, and he’s going to fall down. I followed up with a text to her that night, assuring her he was totally fine, I wasn’t mad, and these things happen.

+I tell her how much I appreciate her. She’s one in a million, and I let her know.

Our “L” is the sweetest, kindness, most thoughtful and caring young women, not to mention smart, ambitious, and charismatic. We are just crazy about her. We’ve built a special relationship, and I’m so grateful for it. We can all be ourselves around her, and that’s important because she’s doing a very personal job for me, taking care of my kids in my home. She’s a huge source of support to ME! The other day I walked in after a stressful experience, and I cried. Cried right in front of her. And she gave me a big hug, exactly what I needed. I see this gal three days a week, greeting her in my bathrobe. She’s not just our nanny. She’s our family member.

Author

Sarah is a thiry-something wife to an engineer and mother of three. She loves teaching aerobic and cycling classes, learning to shoot with her DSLR in manual mode, and drinking coffee.