I almost quit this project. Several times. But, in the end, I decided to push through, even though it did not turn out exactly how I envisioned. (Scroll through here to see the individual days.)
The day after Christmas, I took in the mess of scraps on my desk and this almost completed album and used all my inner strength not to swipe everything into the garbage in one swoop. I was so close to tossing it all out. So close. Like hands poised above the trash can, ready to chuck this album.
But I put it down. Stepped away from the glue sticks. And told myself, I’d finish it when I finished it. Whenever that was. It might not be today. In fact, it might not be until sometime in early 2012. A December 2011 album completed in January of 2012?! Call the Scrapbook Police!
I decided not to press the panic button and to complete this album when I had a few minutes to complete it. One evening I got my chance and furiously printed pictures, wrote some journaling, and slapped it together. I felt glad, relieved I finished it. But also sad because it didn’t end how I wanted it to.
And sad in general because December didn’t end as I expected, either. December felt like one giant slap in the face. And my cheek is still burning from the force of it’s furry.
So after I finished it, I thought, well, I can’t post it. But, since I’m funny about needing things complete, I didn’t want my archives to reflect a 3/4th’s complete December album. So I threw caution to the wind and backdated those suckers. Because I could. Because I needed to. Because I needed to show that December that I finished it. That I crossed it off my list. That it can’t pin me down and make me believe the lies it tells me. I’m free of you, December. And I’m moving on.